TAKERRA ALLEN

Marvin fell ill.

Everyone decided it was best he moved in with Amore and Gabe.

Amore and Gabe went to clean out his house.

In his bedroom, Amore found a box in the closet.

In the closet, she discovered her old mini-backpack from when she’d come to stay with him.

That backpack purse. From that summer.

Inside of that purse, she found a letter.

On the outside of the envelope it read…

 “OPEN WHEN YOU GET TO HOWARD. LOVE, YOUR FAVORITE COUSIN”…

 

 

Dear Amore,

 

Hey cuz, hey! By the time you read this, you’ll be somewhere at Howard being your beautiful, pro-black, natural-haired, goddess self and I’ll be, I don’t know, probably right here with Jackie, or off at corny Princeton. Hey, maybe I’ll skip college, marry Parrish, and be like that white lady in Scarface, you know, all drug-dealer rich wife style. Haha!

Anywayzzz, I’m writing this now because I know by the time you leave, I’ll be leaving for school, too. We’ll both be busy and I may even forget how I feel right now. You’re in the shower getting ready to go out with Guacamole and I ain’t never seen you so souped up.

But I need you to know how glad I am that you came here this summer. Word up. I mean, duh, I’m not glad that your mom died. That’s like, so horrible and I wish you didn’t have to go through that. But I am glad that however life dealt it, it put us in the same city this summer of crazy 1998. Because we have made some of the best memories of my life this summer! Girl, it’s been nonstop thrills. Remember how we was just sitting on the porch the other night talking about how it feels like something crazy is about to happen? I don’t know. Maybe the crazy thing is just how amazingly perfect this summer turns out. That’s it. No bad stuff.

You know I have a lot of friends. But, I really don’t. No one I can rely on. No one I can trust to be myself with and not be judged. To them, I have to be pretty Tammy. Perfect Tammy. Happy-go-lucky Tammy. Life-of-the-party Tammy. I never had anyone I could really bring my problems to and not worry about them throwing my weakness back in my face later. But with you, shoot, it’s like talking to myself. Like…I’m kind of doing right now. Hahaha! Mad corny, I know. See, I can be corny Tammy with you.

But look, I won’t make this crazy long because I’m about to head out to see Parrish after you bounce so I gotta do a little shave, little lather down, little Skin-So-Soft bubble bath. I just want to say, whatever you’re doing by the time you read this some weeks from now, I hope you’re happy. You really deserve it. I hope Howard is so dope! I hope you meet crazy cool girlfriends, but not too cool because I’m still your number one chilltown shorty! I hope you accomplish everything you put your mind to, but I already know you will.

Also, I hope you and Marvin make amends. Having a dad, no matter how imperfect, is something not everyone gets a chance at. Cut him some slack. He’s been to war and I think that really messes people up sometimes. I mean, you remember fine-ass Larenz Tate in Dead Presidents. Straight buggin’!

Oh, and of course…about Guacamole. I don’t know. Maybe you guys can make it work. I mean, I’m not completely against you coming to spend summers here in J.C. and we can have many more crazy summers to come! Maybe if you guys make it work, you can like, get married or something. Have little chocolate kids and name the prettiest one Tammy. I never saw him look at anybody the way he looks at you. I mean, I don’t know him, know him. But I’ve seen him look at girls before. But not how he looks at you. Shoot, I never saw anybody look at anybody the way he looks at you. Maybe I’ll have that one day. Then I’ll get married, get to wear a big princess gown with a real diamond tiara, everybody will be dancing at my wedding like in that movie Soul Food, and you know what me and my man gonna dance to for our first dance. That’s right, BUTTA LOVE, BABY! Hahaha!

Anyway, I’m hungry and rambling. I think I’m gonna stop at Mickey D’s on my way to Parrish. Cuz he gonna feed me like lobster and shrimp and it be good, but I still be hungrier than a mug because it be mad little bit. So I can eat some Mickey D’s first, slam a Big Mac, pop a breath mint, then go eat his dinner, too. You know me. I lovessss to eat.

Anyway, cuz. I love you. I’m proud of you. Thank you for giving me what I’m sure will be one of the best summers of my life. If you didn’t come here, I don’t know what I would’ve done this summer. It probably would’ve been just a regular, boring summer and then I’d go off to boring Princeton. Nothing eventful would have happened to me.

I know you’re probably rolling your eyes like ‘Tammy, stop being so dramatic. You’re acting like you’re going off to war or on your deathbed dying’. Duh, I know we have more time together, but I just wanted to write this to you because once we both get to school, real life is going to start happening for us. The way I hear it, it’s gonna happen mad fast. And before we know it, all of this and how we feel now will just be memories. And every day, we’ll forget more and more. Until they all disappear.

Aahhhh, you ain’t know I could get deep, too, huh? Just because you like Erykah Badu and Lauryn Hill and I like Lil’ Kim. Eh, wha, wha, what? I got it going on, what what!

Okay, enough jokes. I love you for real. Mad love from 98 til forever. The shower stopped so you about to head out to Guacamole, going and giving up the coochie. Aye! But when you read this, smile. Fam-a-lam! Hahaha! Marvin is so crazy always saying that. Let’s go, Amore. We did it. We’re going to college! We’re women. We’re here. We got our whole lives ahead of us and we about to do all that stuff we dreamed of, cuz! Let’s plan a vacation. Let’s get an apartment together! Ooh, yes!  If you don’t live with Guacamole. Okay, fine, he can come too. But not his crazy friend Hahaha!

Let’s always stay close. Let’s live life to the fullest! But let’s never forget this summer. I love you. Love, Tammy